Edward Gone
by Oasys Arts
Summary: New Moon Spoiler Edward's thought after he leaves Bella in the woods. One shot. First F.F.


A/N: I do not own Edward. (Although i do wish) He belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Also the 2 songs i mention are "I have loved you" By Innocence Mission, and "Quiet things that no one ever knows (acoustic) by Brand New. Please forgive me for anything spelled wrong.

_**Edward. Gone.**_

I ran. I ran in a circle until Charlie's house (I refused to think her name) came back into view. I ran inside using the hidden key. I ran upstairs. I had to act quick before I changed my mind. I grabbed the cd from the player, and grabbed the photo book off the floor, flipping thoroughly through each page, picking out each picture that contained my face.

I grabbed the tickets from Carlisle and Esme that they had given her for her birthday to send the two of us to Florida to see her mother. I put them all into a box and ran down stairs. I pulled the out the note in her script that I had written in the car while I waited for her to drive home from school.

As I laid the note down, emotion swept over me. I realized what I was doing. I looked at the letter I was leaving for Charlie. Even though I knew I had written it, it still was in the exact script as her. It drove her thought into my mind.

_Bella_.

She was somewhere out in the forest. Without me there. I could still hear her screams. She was calling my name. I loved the way she said my name. Surely leaving her was the hardest thing I had ever done. If not the hardest, then diffidently the most painful.

What Bella and I had was more then just a relationship. It was more then just a simple

"Crush". It was love. And not just any love, but unconditional love. It was true love. The kind people (and un-people alike) read about in books and fairy tails. Her eyes, that looked so deep into me, almost seeing through me, stared back at me when ever I blinked.

I was still standing in the kitchen. And I realized I had to go soon. What if she came back? What if Charlie came home early? What if I stayed another moment and changed my mind?

_No_.

She deserved better then a monster for a boyfriend.

No, I had to make her safe.

I left the house but then realized as I ran that I had the box of things from her room. I slowed a little and looked at them.

I knew it was selfish of me, but I couldn't help it. I ran back as quickly as I could to her house. I ran to her room and lifted a loose floor board near her dresser. I placed the box there. For some reason I wanted to leave something with her. _Anything_.

I left for good then. I ran through the woods only to stop abruptly. I had fallen to my knees before I could help myself. I suddenly remembered her smile. Her blush. These things were going to drive me crazy for the next eternity. But I could do this for Bella, couldn't I?

Wasn't it what she deserved, hadn't I been telling myself that for the past two days?

She deserved to live a life with real people. People she didn't have to worry about wanting to kill her. People she could injure herself in front of and not have to be terrified if they would want to eat her.

No she deserved to have a normal life. A safe life. Children, a husband…. A husband….. Bella deserved to love someone who wasn't a monster.

Then why did the thought of her loving someone else while I existed almost drive me mad? It was as if I had an inner mind conundrum. These thoughts ran through my head for the past few days. Yet I only had one answer. Bella's happiness and safety is at stake.

I got up then, realizing that I had to get to Alaska. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and Alice were waiting for me. I got home and grabbed everything I could as quickly as I could. The sooner I got out of Forks the better. Being this close to her was driving me insane. Not to mention the thought of her still in the woods alone almost made me go out to find her. I hoped she was home.

I drove all night. I didn't stop once. I was afraid I would turn around if I did.

I was alone the whole ride. With only music and my thoughts to keep me company. Not the best combination. I didn't try to block out her memory anymore. I had given that up the second I left Forks.

I had lost my Bella, my life, my beautiful angel. She would be safe, but I hoped she was home. I hoped that she was not feeling the pain that I was feeling. I hated to think of her suffering as I was. I didn't think I would ever be the same. How could I be? I had found love, and lost love. I thought that I was whole in myself until I had met her. She changed everything.

I thought back on her words that I lied my way through….

"You… don't… want me?"

"No" was all that I replied.

She just stared at me. How could she believe I could live without her? Didn't she understand that she was the only person I could, or would ever love? How did she not see through my act?

"You're not good for me, Bella."

How hard those words were to say. I realized numerous times on my way to Alaska that I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Then I also became frustrated. _How could she let me go! How could she just sit there and believe my lies! How could she believe I could go one day without her!_

Those thoughts almost drove me to my breaking. So when I pulled up to the Denali clan's home, I composed myself. Not for myself, but for them. They didn't deserve to hurt along with me.

I walked into the home to see them all sitting there, waiting for me. Alice had obviously told them that I would be arriving.

They all looked at me, worry and sympathy on their faces. None knew that to say. I couldn't help but read there minds….

"_I wonder how he did it… I could never leave Jasper... even if he **was** human." _That one was Alice.

"_Is he alright? What do I say to him? He loved her more then anything."_ That was Esme.

"_Wow, the emotions coming from him. I wonder if I could calm him or something… gosh he must be really messed up. Poor guy." _Jasper's thoughts were reminding me to keep myself composed.

"_Edward, I know you can hear me." _I listened to Carlisle. _"Did you leave her?" _I just nodded. _"I know it hurts, and I know it's hard, and I am sorry. I won't say what you did was smart, but it was your decision. Would you like to be left alone or would you like to speak with us?" _I shook my head, and asked to be taken to my room.

My room at the Denali coven's home was smaller then the one in Forks. But I didn't mind. It had a stereo and I kept doubles of all my cds here just incase. I popped one in. It was a mix of songs. I sat down and listened to the music. Before I realized it, the song came on that I had been avoiding the whole trip here. But now that I wasnts worried about the road, I welcomed it. I drowned myself into sorrow.

I sang along. "_I have loved you, with an everlasting love. I have called you, and you are mine_."

Those words repeated through the song. Each time reminding me of what I left behind. This song ended only to bring me more pain with the next. It was one of my new favorites.

"_I lie for only you and I lie well... Hallelu..."_

Words that reminded me of Bella ran through my head. "**Blush**." "**Hair**." "**Smile**." "**Kiss**." "**Warmth**." "**Cluts**." "**Laughter**." "**Pale**." "**Touch**." "**Music**." "**Sleep**." "**Beauty**." "**Scent**." And worst of all, "**_Love_**."

It went on like that for days for months… I left my family quickly after arriving. I engulfed myself in finding Victoria. I would not let her hurt Bella after I had hurt myself so much to keep her safe. _No_, she would not hurt my darling Bella. When I wasn't hunting her I was in a black hole. I just let the misery take me over. Not needing music anymore to motivate my sorrow. Just saying her name was enough to send me into a comatose of grieving.

But my life was Bella. And Bella was no longer a part of my life. So it didn't matter anymore what I did. So I remained that way, until I got her call…. The horrid one. The call from Rosalie.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! It was fun to write and yet i wish i could have gotten more emotion into it. O well.Maybe in the next one! YAY! First FF!**


End file.
